But candy is always better…

Sure, roses are romantic, but what’s better? Candy, of course! The sales figures speak the truth. According to studies on Valentine’s Day preferences, both men and women clearly called out: we prefer candy! They also make up a major portion of the Valentine’s sales. Chocolate boxes have been around for a hundred years, delighting lovers. Among the favourite candy types are caramel, chocolate-covered nuts and cream-filled chocolates.

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We think that a crush is a romantic attraction towards someone. As a matter of fact, a crush isn’t always romantic as much as it is a feeling of being awestruck by someone. It’s a desire to connect at more than a surface level, and your crush could be a potential friend, work buddy, or a future romantic partner, too.

How do I know I’m having a crush on someone?

It will be obvious to the world. When you have a crush, there’s an incessant need to work all your plans around being in the vicinity and proximity of this person. You’ll find yourself matching your workout, evening stroll, morning walk, lunch hour in school or college, or other engagements, to theirs. You would be thinking, discussing, and contemplating about this person most of the time and probably be distracted from other tasks owing to this preoccupation. At a biological level, you will have an adrenaline rush in the presence of this person, allowing your cheeks to turn pink, your eyes to twinkle, and your palms to feel sweaty. In most cases, people break into an unexpected or inappropriate smile that could even be embarrassing, in a charming way of sorts. Don’t be surprised if you fumble or even lose your words in the presence of this person. Your brain chemicals go into a frenzied tango with an urge to do something, anything, to connect with this person in real life or even in a dream. It’s a feeling that you will surely enjoy — a mix of happiness that this person is in your life in some capacity, as well as a restless eagerness to get closer and closer to this person; to change the status quo to something else.

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You may extend this celebration by connecting with people who have no friends or those who are less fortunate and unable to celebrate such events. You have many possibilities to make this day special for them as well as for yourself. Creating personalized gifts for them will make them feel special. You can plan events like indoor games, outings or a movie, allowing your limitless minds to generate greater ideas to make this day unforgettable for them. You can do this because you are endowed with limitless possibilities to do things that will bring greater fulfillment and happiness into one’s lives. What hinders us from taking such courageous steps is the fear of venturing into the unknown.

Consider the story of an eaglet raised among ordinary chickens. As it grew, it observed the vast, limitless sky and marvelled at birds, particularly eagles, flying freely. Despite being made to believe its life was confined to the chicken farm, limited to eating worms and grains, one day it could not resist the temptation. It stretched out its large wings, attempting to fly with the conviction, “I can do it.” Soon, it found itself soaring and floating in the vast, boundless blue sky. The American author Napoleon Hill has often emphasized, “What your mind can conceive and believe, you can achieve.”

As February advances, you will start thinking of your final exams in school academics. Perhaps due to your past experiences, you are led to believe certain false notions like, you are unable to score high marks, cannot remember well, speak confidently in public or write an article for a magazine. These limiting thoughts and convictions may have restricted your possibilities. As the exams draw near, you need to embrace the belief in your limitless power. Maybe you can do it by repeating to yourself, “Yes, I can do it; yes, I can achieve my goals and score high marks.” With these beliefs and convictions, put forth your best efforts to attain success.

In this issue of The Teenager Today, we have featured stories of people like the Tree Girl, the Ocean Saviour, the Red Light Girl Saviour, and the Chandrayaan Man, to inspire you to adopt a mindset of limitless possibilities.

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Anand and Akanksha had found love in each other. In anticipation of Valentine’s Day, both planned to surprise the other with a gift. On 14 February, in the most romantic ambience, Anand handed a small gift to Akanksha. She held it lightly in one hand, and with the other, held Anand’s hand, looked into his eyes and said, “The tranquillity and the protection that I experience in your presence is the most precious gift that I could ever receive from you!”

An increasing number of gruesome crimes in the name of love create a ripple of fear in society. Love gets melted in the face of suspicion, ego, intolerance, unforgiveness, and low self-esteem. In genuine love and companionship, people look for safety and tranquillity more than any prized gift or promise. 

The word ‘love’ has many connotations. Theories of love speak of sentimental love, true love, platonic love, friendship and sensual love. Each of these types of love is defined in itself with its practicality of implementation and execution. Again, Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs explicitly emphasizes on the need for love, which can be expanded into striving for love and affection and belongingness. One of the perfect guidelines for love is found in the Bible (1 Corinthians 13:1-13) which speaks about what is and is not love. Love cannot be defined or concised into theories; love is a feeling, which can be stimulated internally or externally.

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It’s the month of February that is known to be the month of love. I thought of sending you a love letter to make you feel special whether you have a Valentine or even if you still haven’t found one, because I believe that each one of you is special and deserves to feel special especially in this month of love! I strongly believe that Valentine’s Day isn’t something that is reserved for all those in love. I would like to spread this special feeling of love to everyone reading this and I hope you do the same and make all those who have made you smile in your life feel loved and special, beginning with your family and friends.

What is love? Ever given it a thought?

Love is being selfless; love survives on trust and mutual respect and it starts with honesty and a helpful gesture that touches the other person’s soul. So it’s not necessary to only make someone known feel loved. You can simply exchange a smile with your neighbour or help someone in need with food or anything you can give. After all, love isn’t entitled only to those who are known or have a high status…

Love isn’t materialistic. It’s we who have made it a commercial concept, that is, all about gifting your loved ones with expensive gifts. Do you know that your small gestures or efforts are more valuable than those branded gifts you exchange? So take a moment to think of how you can bring a smile to your Valentine’s face. Kids, if your Valentine is your mom or dad, gift him or her with your time instead of being on your phone or with your friends. As for all the parents reading this, you can celebrate the day with your spouse and children by sitting together as a family and making memories together, setting aside all the stress you have just for one day. To all those BFF’s out there, celebrate this Valentine’s by encouraging and appreciating each other’s successes and presence in your life. And finally to all those cute couples out there, whether you’re married or dating, don’t forget to appreciate each other and make a vow never to hurt, disrespect or lie to your partner no matter the situation; that will be the best gift you can exchange with your Valentine!

Before I end my letter, I would like to say to all of you… whether you are in love or not, whether people like you or not, whether you’re successful or not, love yourself no matter what others think of you. And don’t forget to forgive those who have done you wrong, because without letting go of the negativity within yourself love will never make way into your life. After all life’s too short to hold grudges. Someone rightly said: “Love everyone, hate no one but never forget to love yourself…”

XOXO,

Your Valentine!

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All of us want to see a lot of changes in this world. Once a young man came to Osho and asked him, “Wouldn’t it be good to change the world?” Osho replied, “Forget about the world. I change myself. You change yourself. Then the world will be changed.” We are familiar with Mahatma Gandhi’s saying, “Be the change you want to see in the world.”

This change should happen from within and not forced from outside. It is said, “If the egg is broken from outside, life ends, but if it is broken from inside, life begins.” Great things happen from your personal determination and conviction. The real change begins from inside, that is, in our mind and in our heart. Let the light within you spread around by your deeds of kindness.

Life is something to be celebrated with others. You can help others to make their life a celebration by spreading the fragrance of your kindness all around. “Kindness is the most powerful, least costly and most underrated agent of human change,” quipped Bob Kerrey, the former American senator. A smile, a kind word, a soothing touch, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or a small act of help has the potential to make everyone’s life beautiful. It is a gift that you can give to make a difference to everyone, everywhere and at every time.

In his famous book, The Man Without a Country, Edward E. Hale wrote: “I cannot do everything, but still I can do something; and because I cannot do everything, I will not refuse to do the something that I can do.” Let us join hands in making our beautiful planet a place of ‘kindness unlimited’.

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Love is the one emotion that people experience and express in different ways. For some love is sacred, unselfish and unconditional, and they believe that true love exists between family members, friends and between people and their deity. And for some others, love is present everywhere and it is extended to pets, and even inanimate objects, fictional characters and heroes dead and gone. For others, it is purely romantic or merely sexual. None of these people are totally right or wrong, but one thing is certain: love is the most powerful force in the entire universe.

As the world celebrates Valentine’s Day on February 14th and exchange cards, candies, gifts and flowers with their special “Valentine”, Professor Sherene Aftab in the cover story this month explains its origin, the way it is celebrated and even its misuses and abuses. She suggests to the readers innovative and meaningful ways of celebrating Valentine’s Day, with noble acts like: blood donation, care for a physically challenged, volunteer for a cause, etc.

There are different levels of love. The first in the list is our love for family members and siblings. The saying, “blood is thicker than water” perhaps comes from this family bond. The second significant level of love is friendship. We do feel genuine love towards our friends which sometimes can become very strong and intimate. The third level of love is the bond that brings a man and a woman together. This level marks the strongest of them all, which has been eulogized in literature by Homer, Shakespeare and others.

Being deeply loved by someone gives you courage, while loving someone deeply gives you strength. Your love for knowledge will give you great motivation to study and excel. Love for knowledge and studies are inevitably associated with your love for teachers, family and friends. The very thought that you are precious and dear to someone will be an energizing force within you. When you love someone or something sincerely and deeply you become mature with positive attitudes and it helps you build up great self-confidence. Hence, love every one selflessly and generously and let yourself be loved so that your life becomes a magic of love!

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This Valentine’s Day, don’t pick that old boring red outfit! Play with your clothes and stand out this time. So this year, me and my cousin sister a.k.a my soul sister, Pranjali J, came up with some unique ideas for Valentine’s Day outfits. She also happens to be a YouTuber and this time we’re collaborating. Just follow this link and watch the Valentine’s special collaboration video: https://www.youtube.com/user/lifesglitter

1. Going out for a dinner date?

Girls: Lace
Pick out a lace dress and dress it up with a jacket or cardigan. Try getting a backless lace dress. Avoid getting the classic Valentine colours and try going for colours like marsala, maroon, olive or teal.

Guys: Suit
Pick a suit that makes you stand out. Go for a printed one or a plaid one. It’s retro and it’s different. Don’t pick safe colours. Go for shades like cream, grey, royal blue, baby blue, etc. Don’t shy away from playing with your outfits this season.

2. Just a casual date?

Girls: Maxi Cardigan + Dress
Pick a printed dress and pair it with a contrasting maxi cardigan. Accessorize it by layering necklaces. You can layer necklaces and pair it with any outfit. This one is simple yet unique. It can also be a great way to hide your food, baby, if you’re planning on grabbing a few extra bites!

Guys: Mix and Match
Wear jeans/pants with a plain shirt and pair it up with a blazer. Pick colours like maroon and navy blue. Mix and match and add a scarf. Keep it classic but quirky at the same time.

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Come February and you will come across advertisements that say: “Show your loved one how much you really love them,” by a jewellery brand; another advertisement says, “10 creative gifting ideas to gift your Valentine”. Society shapes the day in accordance with their perceptions and ideologies. Valentine’s Day for some may be a way to promote an overly commercial date. The sole objective of those advertisements is to generate business and to lure naïve minds into buying commercial products like cards, gifts, getaways and even flowers to gift their better halves. To others, it’s the most romantic day of the year as they are the recipients of those lovely gifts. Their loved ones have not only gone out of their way, but have also emptied their pocket money or have created a dent in their salaries to affirm their love to their other half! For a few others, this day could be a disappointment, because their expectations of witnessing grand gestures of love from their loved ones have not met their expectations. And a few others believe that love is an important element of life. They believe that love should be a feeling that should be confessed to their loved one each day, all throughout the year through selfless acts of kindness, care and understanding towards the one they love.

Fun facts

Let’s learn how the day came into being.

Fact 1: The history of the date is ambiguous in nature and clouded by various fanciful legends.

Fact 2: Many scholars believe that the Valentine’s Day is named in honour of St Valentine of Rome. A popular hagiographical account of the St Valentine indicated that he was martyred by Emperor Claudius II. The Roman Emperor believed that single men made better soldiers than men who were married and had families, eventually outlawing the act of marriage for soldiers. St Valentine realized the injustice of the decree and defied Emperor Claudius. St Valentine was imprisoned for secretly performing wedding ceremonies for soldiers who were forbidden to marry and for ministering to Christians, who were persecuted under the Roman Empire.

Fact 3: It was not until the 14th century that Valentine’s Day became synonymous with love. According to medieval scholar, Henry Ansgar Kelly, author of Chaucer and the Cult of Saint Valentine, it was poet Geoffrey Chaucer who first linked St Valentine’s Day to love and romance. In 1381, Chaucer composed a poem in honour of the engagement between England’s Richard II and Anne of Bohemia. As was the poetic tradition, Chaucer associated the occasion with a feast day. In The Parliament of Fowls, the royal engagement, the mating season of birds and St Valentine’s Day are linked:
“For this was on St Valentine’s Day,
When every fowl cometh there to choose his mate.”

Fact 4: By the 18th century, gift-giving and exchanging of handmade cards made of lace, ribbons, cupids had become a norm in England and the tradition had also spread to the American colonies.

Fact 5: In recent times, the celebration of Valentine’s Day has been becoming a flourishing commercial business. According to the Greeting Card Association, 25% of the cards sent each year are on Valentine’s Day. The price of a single rose on any other normal day could be Rs 15-20, but on Valentine’s Day a single rose could be sold for between anything from Rs 50-70.

Common dilemmas while celebrating Valentine’s Day

1. Trying to impress
It is alarming that so many young teens and adults increasingly try to establish a fake identity for themselves. In their quest to impress the opposite gender or make friends, they try to emulate ideologies and lifestyles that have no resemblance to who they really are. Being compulsively active on social media platforms, smoking to portray a cool look, shopping for the latest and expensive gadgets to impress others, purchasing clothes that are not just expensive and branded but are also beyond what your pocket money or salary can afford, gifting expensive gifts that may pinch your budget, and in general, trying to portray an image of who may not be the real “you”, all make the best ingredients that would create a recipe called “disaster”.

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