I am delighted to read that one of my previous articles has helped you. I am so proud of the fact that you stood up for yourself at such a young age; this is indeed commendable. Kudos to you for that! First you need to appreciate and congratulate yourself for this victory. In life, we will have many such people who try to put us down knowingly or unknowingly. This will first make us feel sad and disheartened; if we don’t stand up for ourselves, it will make things worse for us. The fact that you did what you needed to do, you will not feel worse about the situation but the past can often unnerve you. What you need to do now is learn to validate yourself. Make a list of all the things big or small that you have achieved so far, all those things you never felt you could do. This will help you feel validated and accomplished. This will also increase your self-confidence and morale.

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Dear Dwayne,

Looks like you feel hurt and mistreated by people who don’t seem to dislike you, and your negative thoughts don’t help the lack of confidence you feel.
More than others liking you, it is essential to like yourself first. So, start by asking yourself, ‘Is it really true that people don’t like me?’ Whether ‘yes’ or ‘no’, ask ‘What proof do I have for this?’ All the ways they treat you can be included here. Then ask: How do I feel when they treat me like this?

Next ask, ‘How would I like people to treat me?’ What steps can I take to make this happen? How difficult or easy are each of these steps. This should also help you to learn about yourself as a person. Are you shy? Hesitant to reach out to others? Do you think you’re not good enough or undeserving?

The first step to make it happen is to love, accept and like yourself the way you are now. Self-acceptance is the best starting point to change and build your confidence.

Develop your confidence by developing your personality. Discover your own talents by trying out different hobbies and by contributing to someone’s life. Volunteer to teach younger kids or join a youth group to do social work. If you are less self-conscious about yourself, you’ll be more confident. Remember, respect yourself, and others will treat you respectfully.

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Fitness and exercise are important for everyone. Playing a sport is a great way for children to take a break from academics and release pent-up energy. It also helps them lead fuller and happier lives, as regular sports and fitness activities have proven to provide not only physical benefits but also social and psychological benefits to children. Today, let’s discuss the benefits of sports for students.

Character-building Traits

Self-confidence and self-esteem
Several studies suggest that playing sports develops a child’s self-confidence and self-esteem. A pat on the back, high-five from a teammate or a handshake after a match really boosts a child’s confidence. Words of praise and encouragement from the coach, parents and other players raise one’s self-esteem. An important thing to remember is that a child’s self-esteem should not be distinguished by victory or loss. It also helps when you ask, “Did you enjoy the game?” rather than “Did you win?”

Manage emotions
We know how emotions run high in sports — whether watching a sport or playing it. Channelling negative emotions can be tough for children and a good coach will help them realise how negative emotional stress could hurt their performance. Such wisdom ingrained earlier on in life will help them deal with other life challenges later on.

Subscribe to The Teenager Today print / digital editions to read the full article.

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It is the smart decisions that you make today that can change your life forever. As you begin your holidays you’ve got to have a firm determination to do something different to make it possible. Is there a way to spend your holidays that will make it truly meaningful and memorable? Can you think of doing something creative, something very different that will help boost your self-confidence, improve productivity, develop talents and chalk out the course your life takes? If you do, then you can anticipate with a smile the great benefit you will enjoy in the future. Attempt to do something you always wanted to do — it may be learning a skill, receiving some guidelines, or visiting a person or a new place.

The story is told of a poor man who once visited his friend who had become ‘king’. The king was happy to meet him and gave him a special pen as a gift. The friend was sad at getting such a small and apparently insignificant gift. Nevertheless, he took the pen and used it to write. Several years later, a wise man happened to see the pen and told him of how special that pen itself was: it had in it a map that would lead him to a very big treasure with which he could live the rest of his life like a king.

Could this holiday be the time when you find the key that can unlock some great treasure in your life which you will always be happy about and grateful for? If your decision and determination is like that of Neel Shekatkar’s, then you could rest assured that your holiday will perhaps determine the destiny of your life.
Let the various articles in this issue of The Teenager Today serve to guide you to make the right decisions in terms of time investment. TTT wishes you a holiday that is enjoyably memorable!

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After the first round in Chennai and Mumbai, The Teenager Today’s unique workshop ‘The Leadership Treasure Discovery’ designed by PrePearl Training Development Pvt Ltd, saw its third successful session in Mumbai on 20 October 2019 at St Paul’s Institute of Communication Education (SPICE), one of the country’s fastest growing media schools.

The one-day workshop is a discovery of strengths, leveraging the world-renowned Belbin Team Roles. Designed for young adults in the age group of 15- 20 years, the experience helps one build one’s self-concept and confidence to make a unique mark in school, college or even as one is getting ready for the world of work. The session had 16 bright youngsters from various parts of Mumbai and even Pune! A unique feature was parents being invited to the second half of the session where the teenagers shared with their parent their new insights and learning.

Here’s what the participants had to say:

“The workshop has been nothing less than perfect. Rather much better than the monotonous career guidance. An insight for the youth to reinforce their natural talents.”
— Abigail Tixeira

“This was the best session that I have been to. At no time was I bored or lost focus. Aspects I found the most useful — Belbin’s nine behavioural aspects and its application in detail.”
— Ken Farro

“Getting to know me as a person and my purpose in any group. Reflecting on various aspects on my strengths and weaknesses. Exciting, insightful and interactive. How to make my strengths work in any situation. Different qualities that we find in people”
— Raka Mandal

“My key learnings: How to discover my inner strengths, what I can discover in my near future. The workshop was really fun. Got to interact with new friends and learnt new things. The workshop taught me what I am from my inner state of mind. Aspects I found most useful: the fun sessions, the interaction, the activities were the most useful aspects of the workshop.”
— Joe Thomas

“My key takeaways: I have learned my strengths and how to implement them and also that my weaknesses are not a shameful thing and my strengths complement my weakness. The workshop has been informative, innovative (it oiled the machines in my head) got me thinking of things I have not thought of before. My learning was insight to success and the mock interviews.”
— Sinead Pereira

Here’s what some of the parents/guardians had to say:

“I felt it to be very encouraging for me as well as Raka (my daughter). It is the seeding for the beginning of a long journey. Thanks to PrePearl and The Teenager Today.
— Gaurab Mandal, Parent

“I got to know how well my sister knows herself and even I got to learn a lot about her.
— Guardian

The workshop is truly an opportunity to discover our strengths and talents. At The Teenager Today we are filled with joy and pride to meet youngsters and see interest and keen willingness to discover one’s potential to make a positive impact on society.

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Dear Blessy

It sounds like you feel very tongue-tied and shy and experience stage fright in front of people. It looks like you don’t value yourself or believe in yourself. Since you know that you are the only one who can make yourself better, you’re off to a good start!

How about a dose of self-appreciation each morning? Look into the mirror and appreciate one thing about yourself, however small. Write it down too. By the end of two weeks, you will realise that you are unique and that it is pointless to compare yourself with someone else!

Change happens with small steps and regular practice. You could perhaps start by rehearsing a dance or a speech in front of a mirror. Then video-record yourself or perform in front of a trusted friend and ask for feedback. Then try it in front of a small group. Finally, take the risk of joining a dance or an elocution competition in your school/college.

As for your personal interaction skills, making a conversation is about starting with small talk — the weather, an event, and so on, and then about getting others to talk — so master the art of asking open-ended questions. You could pick up a book on conversation skills such as How To Talk to Anyone by Leil Lowndes and practise in the same manner as your dance/speech.

Change is a choice that you make each moment. So, make each experience one to learn from and grow, so that you live life fully!

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Everyone has a mental picture in their minds of who they are, what they are capable of, and where they are going in life. If you suffer from low self-confidence, it means that you have a negative view of these things in your mind. You probably feel that you are not worth much and that whatever you try will result either in mediocrity or failure. If you want to increase your self-esteem and build your self-confidence, you have to work on your self-perception.

To start the process of improving your self-esteem, you need to incorporate these daily habits into your life.

Change your self-talk

Self-talk is the act of talking to oneself, either mentally or aloud. It is any thought that pops into your head in reaction to an external stimulus. The way that you feel about situations depends on what you tell yourself.

If you think about a situation negatively, it will lead to negative emotions like irritation or anxiety. Thinking about the situation positively will lead to positive feelings like excitement or happiness. When you are working on increasing your self-esteem, you become more aware of the constant self-talk that leads to negative feelings, and you can replace it with positive self-talk that encourages higher levels of self-esteem.

For example, if you are always telling yourself that you are fat every time you look in the mirror, stop and replace these thoughts with words of encouragement. You have trained yourself to look at areas of your body that make you insecure and reinforce your insecurity by saying “I’m fat.” Teach yourself to appreciate your body or focus on an area that you feel good about. Over time, this will shift your self-image and confidence.

Practise affirmations

Affirmations are simple, positive statements that you can write about yourself to change negative thinking patterns. They help to improve self-esteem by implanting new beliefs to replace beliefs that cause low self-esteem. With enough repetition, affirmations will become implanted into your subconscious mind.

Here are a few starters. Write these out before you sleep — 21 times each for 21 days continuously. If you skip a day, start again.

• I love and accept myself unconditionally.
• I am peaceful with all my emotions. I love and approve of myself.
• I create a life filled with rewards.

Stop comparisons

Recognize that you are unique. Realize that you never get the full story and that everyone puts on a front in an attempt to disguise their insecurities. When you compare yourself to others, you are merely comparing yourself to the façade others are presenting to the world. Everyone has thoughts, doubts, insecurities, judgements and other inner battles that they deal with in their minds.

Read the full article by subscribing to the print magazine or the digital edition.

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It was while watching the movie Jerry Maguire for the eleventh time that realization dawned on me. The swoonworthy catchphrase, “You complete me,” evoked a very different response in me. I was quite alarmed. I checked the mirror, for my ear, my eye, my arm. Nope, still there. How was I, then, not complete? That’s the first time I began to question the belief that another human being is required in order for you to be ‘complete’, and free to live your life as you want it, because, before that, you are simply searching. Your existence is void of any meaning, only because you have not yet found another person to augment your worth.

But you were not born with only one eye, one leg or one arm. Then why do you deem yourself incomplete? It is quite normal to desire companionship, but a complete dependence on the idea of another person making you ‘whole’ is significantly flawed. Because, obviously, some relationships might end up well, some others might end badly, or maybe you’re still Facebook friends, and “all’s well that ends well”, but the one relationship you’ll always have, is the one you already have with yourself. Of course, we, as human beings, are predisposed to socialize, but self-actualisation takes a backseat when your life is nothing short of a never-ending wait, a life spent in anticipation of finding your soulmate.

But this seems to find its root in the insecurity nursed by men and women alike. It is the desperate cry for validation that compels you to reach out, to find a hand to hold. It’s like we need someone to constantly remind us that we matter. We’ve slowly convinced ourselves that we’ll only ever be happy once we’ve walked down the metaphorical aisle.

“But are you not complete in who you are, who you aim to be? Your achievements, your dreams form you. Another person is not the final piece in the puzzle that is you.”

But are you not complete in who you are, who you aim to be? Your achievements, your dreams form you. Another person is not the final piece in the puzzle that is you.

The best way is to assume. Make the simple assumption that there is no person, no circumstance, that is going to make you more whole than you already are.

Because you are complete as you are. Those ‘puzzle pieces’ are secondary. You don’t need anyone to make you whole. You complete you.

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General awareness, research and personal experience, all confirm that as human beings we love getting attention. But recent studies have shown that offering support and attention to others brings about even greater feelings of wellness and helps reduce our own stress.

Here’s what giving attention to others does to you:

Lets you feel you’re in charge

When you wait for someone to do things for you, clearly you are putting them in charge of your happiness. But when you decide to do something for someone, you gain the power to make a difference in his or her life. This sense of control can make you feel positive about yourself.

Instills a sense of autonomy

It’s not uncommon to find ourselves dissatisfied even when people do something for us. We like to make own choices and we have our own preferences; hence when we pay attention to the needs of others, we sense freedom in our choice to do something for someone else. It’s an accomplishing feeling.

Makes you feel self-confident

Adolescence is the period where we are beginning to formulate definitions of our own self. When we do something for others, we prove to ourselves that we are capable human beings. This makes us believe in our virtues and makes us self-reliant and more confident of our own abilities.

Enables you to feel connected

All actions generate equal and opposite reactions. When we make others feel special we unmistakably draw them towards ourselves and initiate committed friendships. Kindness goes full circle. When we are good to others we become bravehearts for our generosity and we feel connected with everyone around us.

Gives you a sense of happiness

Doing something for someone and making them feel nice sends signals to the happiness centre in the brain to secrete dopamine (the body’s reward chemical), giving us a high like we experience when we win a race or stand first in a competitive exam or are encountered with a pleasant surprise.

Read the full article by subscribing to the print magazine or the digital edition.

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The second grain, on the other hand, reflected, “I’m afraid. If I put down my roots into the ground, I don’t know what they will face there. If I grow tender stems, they may be damaged by wind. If I grow flowers, they may be plucked up. So I’d rather wait for a safer time.” Thus the second grain was waiting, until the chicken that passed by pecked it. The first seed was sure of itself, was full of hope, and was self-confident while the second was just the opposite.

Self-confidence is the self-awareness of one’s abilities, self-assurance, determination and hope to achieve what one wants in life. Self-confident persons determine the goals and act resolutely to achieve them. George Kannanthanam, in the cover story of this issue, presents Youth As Ambassadors Of Vision. He narrates how the blindfolded were provided physical self-confidence as they were led by the truly blind. It was only symbolic of the self-confidence they achieved from this experience that emboldened them to donate their eyes and become ambassadors of vision, thus bringing about this social revolution in India. This is bringing hope to the millions of visually challenged persons who are waiting to see the world.

Self-confidence is extremely important in almost every aspect of our lives, and so many people struggle to find it. One of the things that hold us back from pursuing our dreams is the fear of failure and the lack of self-confidence to overcome fear. This fear can be overcome by boosting our self-confidence and self-esteem. Dalai Lama articulates, “With realization of one’s own potential and self-confidence in one’s ability, one can build a better world”.

Here are some tips which may help you build your self-confidence: have the courage to do what you believe to be right, even if others mock you or criticize you for it, be willing to take risks and go the extra mile to achieve the goals you have set and be daring to admit your mistakes and learn from them. To be realistic, make a list of your goals and prioritize them, and identify the possible obstacles and setbacks to be overcome in achieving your goals. Exploring various ways and means to achieve them and your willingness to make the necessary sacrifice will take you a step closer to building your self-confidence.

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