The month of May brings happy memories of our dear Mom, as we celebrate Mother’s Day on 14 May this year. A mother is one of the most prized creations of God and she is the most cherished gift of God to humankind. There is no treasure like the gift of a mother’s love on this earth and there is no heart so full of attentive love and care as that of a mother. I always remember very vividly how my own mother ran with lightning speed and jumped into the water when I told her that my younger brother had fallen in a pond and was drowning!

The story of the mother of Thomas Alva Edison has touched millions. After his mother’s death, Edison found a letter in her diary. It was a letter written by his primary class teacher to his mother when he was a young boy. In the letter, the teacher had written that her son was dumb with a very low IQ. But his mother had concealed this message and instead had told Thomas that the content of the letter was that he was a super-intelligent boy and that he should be educated separately at home. He believed his mother’s words and turned out to be one of the greatest scientists the world has ever seen.

We all will have many great stories to narrate about our beloved mothers, how they have played the most significant role in the development of our personality, character, our habits and our career. The first months of our existence revolved around this amazing person. There is no one who can understand us better than our own mother. Even when we were tiny tots, she understood our needs. We learned to love and trust others from the love and trust we received from our mother in our initial years. She has been our first teacher and role model who has always wanted us to be happy and successful in life.

Today, maybe we regret that we did not thank her enough or appreciate this singular precious gift — our mothers. Unfortunately in this age of consumerism and use-and-throw culture, there is a tendency to disregard and forget all that a mother has been to us. We need not wait for Mother’s Day to wish her and thank her for all that she is and all that she has been doing in our life. Everyday should be a day to appreciate her and love her through our words and deeds, and let it be a Mother’s Day celebration and tell them, “Love You, Mom!”

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Mom, Maa, Amma, Umma… no matter in what language you say it, when we hear these words, only one person comes to our mind, the lovely and most admired human in the whole world — our Mother. We all know that the only job, which no one appreciates or gives any importance to, or we can say the job that is unpaid with no holidays, is MOTHERHOOD.

From the day we came into this world till her last breath, she will be there with us at all costs, even sacrificing her sleep, her skills, her health, adjusting herself so that her children can have the best moment of their life. Making a house is an effort of a few months, but turning it into a home takes a lifetime, and our house only becomes a home when our mother is there.

There are no words or article in this world that can describe exactly what motherhood is. Even great poets have tried to express that emotion. To understand that you have to be in that place. As you are reading this, I want you to take a moment and give a tight hug to your loving mom for all the moments she has stood by you.

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It’s true that social media is influencing the lives of everyone, predominantly teenagers. To make them a part of family gatherings, we can plan a family night with snacks and fun. Make sure that everyone switches off all their electronic devices. Teens do better when their families eat concurrently at least five times a week. Execute that! The most uncomplicated way is to go for a walk or a drive together.
Amrita Khaira (13)
St Joseph’s Convent School, Jalandhar, Punjab

We live in the social media era. When it’s missing, we feel awful. Every person’s living style has been altered due to social media, which has also made commodities more accessible. Concerning the negative effects that social media is having on human existence, I am a little concerned. We no longer have close ties to our family and other loved ones. How can we handle it? First and foremost, all parents and educators must teach their kids and pupils how to use social media as a tool to showcase their own skills and talents. Social media is being used by many people, especially the young, for their personal enjoyment. Spending more time with children can help parents understand them better and guide them in the proper direction. These trivial deeds can help them to re-create the bond with the families and near and dear ones rather than with social media.
Little Merinth Aamose A. (20)
St Xavier’s College, Thiruvananthapuram

There is definitely no doubt in saying that social media is destroying our culture. Not just our culture but it is also killing our society too. Women, young and old, have changed their way of dressing; there are hardly any family gatherings now. People who don’t like these social trends are often called old-fashioned, but this is a truth that the youth should accept now that social media is working like a weapon to destroy our culture. We should stop this social trend today itself by not using those apps that are unnecessary for us.
Bhavya Narayan
St Joseph’s Convent High School, Jethuli, Patna

We are most of the time on social media which separates us from our family and friends. Individual culture practising has also weakened the love between each other. We should respect everyone’s social and cultural beliefs. All should reduce the usage of social media and interact with everyone. We have to sit with our family and participate in all family gatherings.
Ariba Fatma
St Joseph’s Convent High School, Jethuli, Patna

As a teenager, I would like to visit historic museums and cultural sites to restore our cultures and traditional practices. We should read spiritual books or study literature and poems on culture of the place. More importantly we should publicly speak on the importance of preserving our culture. It is a necessity to preserve our cultural heritage to maintain our identity as a nation.
Tejal Verma (15)
Notre Dame School, New Delhi

In my opinion, to restore this social trend one can go for a family gathering once, so that he or she could realize that there are many benefits. Family gatherings help one in strengthening the bond with the family. To make these gatherings more entertaining, parents can add some activities and eatables, so that teens are excited to take part in these events.
Aastha (13)
St Joseph’s Convent School, Jalandhar, Punjab

Social media has changed our lifestyle in many ways and we have become isolated from our family and friends. In today’s world, people do not meet their loved ones very often as they are so glued to using social media. To resolve this problem, we must meditate to be at peace. We should also shorten our screen time. Moreover, if we want to talk to someone, we should try to meet them physically instead of calling them on our phones. Social media is very detrimental to our society and we should limit its use. A family should celebrate an event or festival with all family members to keep them connected and to carry on the cultural traits from one generation to the next.
Aadya Kumar (12)
St Joseph’s Convent High School, Jethuli, Patna

The word ‘social’ itself conveys the meaning that we are interconnected. Media is an instrument to be in relation. Because even in social media, I am with the other. I, by myself, cannot use social media, there must be a person who responds to me. But often it is forgotten that we bring the dignity of a person down to a text message. However, a person should not be reduced to a text message. As humans, whether we are online or offline, we are interconnected, not disconnected. In African Philosophy the concept of “Ubuntu” means “I am because we are.” Because “no man can live as an island.” This is the humanity and a real transformation and a transcendence.
Sureshbabu (22)
Don Bosco Philosophate, Karunapuram

Social media is slowly and gradually weakening our old tradition of physical meeting and gathering. To restore our old traditions, we should reduce the usage and formation of social media groups. Instead, we should encourage people to meet each other physically. We can also organise get-together parties and meet our family members. We should try not to skip community jamborees. Moreover, a resolution to meet our family members and dedicating at least one day a month to them can also bring about a change. These steps can help us to socialise with our close ones.
Anwesha Ajay (12)
St Joseph’s Convent High School, Jethuli, Patna

Although India’s institutional framework remains very conducive, there are indications of a weakening social fabric. Currently, the rate of change is fast. Often technology can bring negative/zero interactions between family members. It starves the family of learning and modelling with each other. Today, people care less for the family and remain busy on phones to avoid family gatherings and conversations.
Rashmo Mehta (16)
St Joseph’s Convent High School, Jethuli, Patna

India has a very rich culture and among them the most prominent one is a social gathering. Social media is indeed making people sweep away from social gatherings. Youngsters have started being self-centred. Also, a feeling of social phobia is at its peak these days. People avoid social gatherings as their first and foremost priority is “privacy”. The only solution for this is trying to limit the usage of mobile phones. Its minimum usage will always be beneficial for all those who avoid community jamborees. Mixing with people and getting fascinated by their stories and lives would also remove social phobia and make them more confident.
Gauri Sharma (16)
St Joseph’s Convent High School, Patna

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I used to often keep unwell as a child. Born with diabetes, it didn’t take much to get my blood sugar bouncy. I’d just have to miss a meal or be slightly stressed to go unconscious and be rushed for emergency medical help ever so often. During every medical college exam, my sister waited outside my examination room on standby, just in case I got sick. She’d read a book, listen to music, or when bored, she’d sleep. But she was there. She’d give up anything to be there for me. The same sister who fought, argued, and even got into physical fights with me! I still think we’re opposite human beings. We didn’t, maybe even today we don’t see eye to eye on everything. Yet, looking back, I cannot imagine a more loving angel I could be blessed with through my rough childhood days. That emotion continues in my fourth decade of life, too.

If you have a sibling (or siblings), then no matter how it was between you all the while you were growing up (as many fights you had, or how many ever times you tried to strangulate each other while you were little!), your sibling was undoubtedly your first playmate, partner in a few (or many) crimes, and your best friend. Relationships between brothers and sisters in childhood are a grounding base for secure relationships in adulthood. Of course, if you’re the only child, you could still evolve and develop well because you might seek greater companionship with friends and other significant figures in your life. But sibling relationships are just distinctive. You get a readymade friend without even asking for one! The spice, zest, zing and bling siblings add to life are often unparalleled. No one knows how to push your buttons better or wipe your tears gentler than your sibling.

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Dear Jennifer,

You are understandably worried about your parents — their frequent fights due to financial problems make you quite tense. It is unclear why you and your brother ‘blame each other for the troubles’, but instead of playing the blame game, help your family to take positive steps to find solutions to the problem.

Empathize with your parents and appreciate them — tell them that you know that it must be a difficult time for them and that they are worried about how to manage, especially to provide a good life for you both. Then suggest that you can have a discussion and agree to the different ways in which the family can reduce expenses. Also encourage your parents to think of different ways in which they can generate more income. As youngsters, you too may have new ideas to share.

Set aside family time: Pray together, eat together and share simple joys despite hardships. Most of all, as a family build hope and express gratitude for what you have received and are still to receive.

If you still think that they are depressed and unable to help themselves, encourage them to seek help from a professional counsellor: now, there are several helplines available.

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Fights between siblings are common — in fact they are a fairly normal part of growing up. Learning how to deal with differences and clashes early on can set the stage for a lifetime of positive relationship.

Your brother or sister is, perhaps, the person you’ll know the longest in your life. Having a sister or brother has its advantages. No one knows you better than your sister or brother. Siblings can have a terrific sharing relationship with each other and be closest friends.

On the flip side, teen siblings who are the best of friends one moment, can hate each other intensely the next — especially if he is a topper in studies or she is a star athlete and you are the last one to be selected for any school team and manage just an ‘average’ in studies.

Being jealous and envious of your sibling is normal. It is known as sibling rivalry. Even the best of families encounter it at some point. But what are the reasons behind this rivalry? What to do if your brother or sister drives you crazy?

It is good to know why you are fighting and the different things you can do to ease the tension, like effective ways of talking to your brother or sister without it turning into a vicious argument or slanging match. Sometimes it can’t be resolved and that’s when you might have to agree to disagree.

Learning how to deal with differences and clashes early on can set the stage for a lifetime of positive relationship. In addition, it will help you to get along with other people outside the family.

Changing needs

The needs of teenagers change rapidly and anxieties associated with friends, teachers, schools and even neighbours can affect teen sibling relationships. As a teenager you are developing a sense of independence, freedom and individuality. When there is another teenager struggling for independence and dominance under the same roof, rivalry is likely to ensue.

Treat the other as an individual and recognize his/her differences to foster a sense of individuality.

Favouritism and fairness

Teen sibling rivalry is often fuelled by feelings of favouritism or inequality. Conflicts erupt over issues like who gets more attention, who determines what TV shows to watch, share of household chores, being granted special privileges and waiting for turns.

Parents will try to minimize this rivalry by reassuring each one of you that they love you both equally. They may outline a goal or specific behaviour to help decrease the perception of favouritism.

Jealousy

Jealousy may arise at school, in social situations and at home. As you try to fit in with your peers, you often compare your looks, skills and achievements with those of others. Teen siblings will naturally feel jealous of each other. You may be jealous of your sister’s looks and talents; your brother might feel that he could make friends as easily as you do.

Your sister brings home one trophy after another — singing, swimming, basketball — and your parents proudly place them prominently in the living room showcase! Every person who visits is led to the showcase so that your parents can rave about how proud they are about their ‘Shining Star’! Meanwhile you are not even mentioned.

Whereas your sister is stunningly beautiful, a perfect student, a star sports person and hogs the spotlight, you recede into the darkness of her shadow. She gets A+s and you, Cs! It gets worse when your parents constantly praise her in your presence as if to say, “Why can’t you be more like her”? That kind of attention and needling can make you jealous.

That can be a real source of bad feeling between siblings. Living in your sibling’s shadow can make you feel awkward and feel depressed.

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Dear Haniya, you did well in choosing your family rather than the boy with whom you were in a relationship for only 5 months; on the contrary you have grown up and have been loved by your parents for the last 15 years. Now you are “missing him a lot” and “still love him”. He too still loves you. At the age of 15 the best love both of you can experience is the free and pure love of friendship, not a romantic love leading to a lifelong commitment in marriage. Have patience and in a few years, if your feelings towards each other remain unchanged, you may be free to keep in touch with each other and plan your future.

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Having someone to love is family.
Having somewhere to go is home.
Having both is a blessing.

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