While Indian Americans have the highest average income of all ethnic groups in the U.S., why in India does one in four live in abject poverty? American-Indian Virendra ‘Sam’ Singh was obsessed with this question. He then realised that it was due to women subjugation.

Singh was born as one of eight children in a zamindar’s family in Anupshahr, western Uttar Pradesh in 1939. He was the first one in his family to become a graduate. He was also the first in the area to go abroad to study and make a living. Completing his Master’s in the U.S., Singh joined DuPont in Lowell and worked there for 35 years, leading the company’s Asia operations. He raised two daughters.

The patriarchal Anupshahr abounded in female infanticide, female illiteracy, child marriage, rape and ill-treatment of women by their husbands. Singh realised that many poor families in India can’t afford basic schooling, parents also don’t want to invest in girls since they will go away to their in-laws and the village government schools are not up to the mark. He thought, “Financial dependence breeds social dependence.”

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Of late, there has been a lot of discussion around women empowerment and rights of girl children thanks to the growing awareness around these issues and Prime Minister Narendra Modi’s Beti Bachao, Beti Padhao campaign. Some of the positive developments include women reaching space, becoming commandos in the defence forces, flying the longest flights as pilots, acing sports at international levels, the Supreme Court upholding the reproductive choice of women as a fundamental right, declaring excluding a married daughter as unconstitutional, and stating sexual harassment at workplace as a violation of a woman’s fundamental rights.

However, while we rejoice how far we have come and celebrate the International Day of the Girl Child, we also need to reflect and ask ourselves how far we still have to go. Statistics such as 45.8 million (4.58 crore) girls have gone missing in the last 50 years due to the practice of female foeticide according to a UN Report and out of 33 million children out of school in India 40% being girls, give us a reminder. NCRB recorded 4.3 lakh cases of crimes against women in the form of assault, kidnapping, rape, etc., and reported that one woman is raped every 20 minutes in India. Not only this, millions of girls in India still don’t receive enough nutrition, clothing, food, etc., which are the basic human needs as per Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, let alone receiving fair wage, pursuing ambitions, etc. These statistics are not mere numbers but many lives living in this situation having to fight those battles every day.

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They call her names,
Ogle at her state,
Judge her by the clothes,
That she bullishly wears.

But she knows her dignity,
And she’ll strive for her rights.
She’ll show the world
That she isn’t the girl who fell,
But stood back up to fight.

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In spite of knowing that answers differ from place to place and person to person, I still want to ask, “Is the birth of a girl child welcome in India?” Over small talk and casual conversations with people from various walks of life, I understand that the birth of a girl child isn’t considered a blessing due to the social ills that haunt every girl in our country. I, for one, yearned to have girl children and today I’m a proud mother of two intelligent, brave and kind girls.

74 years after free India was born, girls remain shackled with chains of injustice and prejudice. The making and unmaking of innumerable schemes for girl children have not done much to change attitudes because of the lacunae that hamper on-ground implementation.

Coming to think of how Beti Bachao Beti Padhao (BBBP) has been implemented since 2014, the CAG reports from various states noted several challenges with the implementation of this scheme. Therefore, a long overdue intervention to ensure the basic survival of girls in a highly discriminatory environment did not do well.

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“Teachers are holy angels leading their flock out of darkness.” ~ Jeanette Walls

A village government school teacher became the first Indian to win the Global Teacher Prize 2020, selected from over 12,000 nominations from over 140 countries. The Prize was established by the Varkey Foundation in 2014. The excited Ranjitsinh Disale declared that he would share half of his $1 million prize money with the other nine finalists (each would get about Rs 40.57 lakh).

32-year-old Disale was declared the winner of the prize on 3 December 2020 for his work for girl child education and revolutionising textbooks in India.

“I am lucky that I chose teaching and could bring change in students’ lives,” Disale said. “Teachers are the real changemakers who are changing the lives of their students. Teachers work for the outcome and not for income, and these teachers (the finalists) are doing tremendous work and they should also get the reward. I want them to feel like winners and be equally happy. Together we can change this world because sharing is growing,” he announced.

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Dear sisters,

Between myriad possibilities and multiple universes, the known and the unknown, you were given a choice. A choice to pick your home. You chose this, you chose us. We celebrated your arrival. “Ladki hui hai!” Your father swore it was the happiest he had ever been. And your mother, she breathed her best breath when you breathed your first. “Meri gudiya!”

We vowed, with sincerity, that your life was ours to protect. And this family of yours would unabashedly stand by you, strong like stones of a fortress, the bark of an old banyan, and the unapologetic waves of the sea. But we failed you sister, not once, not twice, but compulsively.

When it happened for the first time, you were little. Too little to verbalize your dissent. But if tears and shivers could give voice, yours would scream, “No!”

This secret of his was buried along with the bloody sheets, and any care for your consent. We apologize sister for not knowing. For being blissfully unaware of the inhumanity you were treated with, and not questioning the obvious circumstances.

When it happened in adulthood, your trauma was treated with negligence, and in the midst of people you rightfully called your own, you felt deserted, and suddenly desolate. We’re sorry for not having the spine to stand up for you, when we promised you that you mattered. We’re sorry that our words were cheap and our actions, inadequate; they could not handle the gravity of your agony. We’re sorry that your suffering was only a subject of media attention and not a wake-up call. We’re sorry that your predator was let off the hook, without a lawful price to pay, while you adjured for justice. We lit candles for you, but we were incapable of pacifying the fire burning inside you; our inattention festered your burns.

You felt threatened in your own home, the home you so effortlessly chose; we’re sorry for not being able to provide you with a better environment.

We’re failing, failing as a community, when our sisters and daughters are treated with such levels of inconsideration and apathy. When our men dare to touch them wrongly without a hint of guilt or self-reproach. When we free them from accountability, and hence convey that their actions will not have calculated repercussions. When we minimize their punishment to the extent of nothingness, and let our fury boil down to helplessness. When we shame our girls for their active and responsible choices over educating our men and battling far-reaching levels of patriarchy and misogyny.

We are sorry, sister, that your brothers were your biggest exploiters, ruthless and lacking all compassion, feeding off your innocence, relishing the outcome. We’re sorry that your family was deficient, and did not ferociously oppose everyone who dared to do you wrong.

Your assault was unpardonable, even a mere thought of hurting you was enough to cause outrage; yet we let all discretion slide, we let their thoughts change to reality, and your reality to a nightmare.

He was a hateful creature, not belonging to this race, to your home, not worthy of breathing your air. He, a beast so detestable, with wavering mental health and an ailing mind.

You, a survivor of combat, a woman most heroic, an inspiration in entirety, we applaud your undying spirit.

We may have failed you, but you were our greatest win.

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While passing through the lanes one day, I met a girl not so happy and gay.
Why is my brother’s birthday a day to rejoice and be merry
But mine a day devoid of any joy? was her query.

You are not the only one, I said
Many a girl shares a bleak future ahead.
“Will it ever change?” questioned she with watery eyes
Sure only when our immovable thinking dies.

Though worshipped like a goddess at every corner,
But humiliated and rejected of her honour
The dwindling number tells a sorry tale,
Of a country that’s totally obsessed with the male.

Give the girl a chance and see her rise,
She won’t disappoint you but rather be a blessing in disguise,
A country where a woman is insulted and subdued,
Cannot be called progressive but quite poorly viewed.

Put an end to turning wombs to tombs immediately,
Or the world will shun us definitely.
Give her all the support, love and be her guide,
“That’s my girl” one day you will say with pride.
So let’s join hands and save our darling girls,
Or our land will become barren without these priceless pearls.

No number of strict laws can bring about any wonder,
Discarding worn-out mindsets can only do true justice to her.

Published in the November 2016 issue of The Teenager Today.

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