Homework and exams, a daily affair,
Yet friendships and laughter, always to share.
In this journey of youth, we strive to excel,
For in these moments, our stories we tell.

Through ups and downs, we learn and grow,
The path may be tough, but our spirits aglow.
Class 10, a chapter in our life’s grand scheme,
We’ll cherish the memories, like a cherished dream.

The post The Struggle appeared first on The Teenager Today.

Dear Sheena,

Looks like the new girl in your class is making you feel quite insecure and you ‘can’t stand her’. This new girl is quite popular, and everyone is attracted to her, including your friends. Seems like you feel helpless that you can do nothing about it.

It is not that a person is ‘a nice person’ or ‘not a nice person’. You think that she is not nice, but your friends think she is. So, reflect on what makes you say that she ‘isn’t a nice person’? Note down any evidence that you have for each reason. Have you interacted with her enough to get to know these things? What does she do when she “plays politics”’ with you? Have others also noticed the same things? If not, your friends will see that you feel jealous.

Instead of focusing on putting her down, focus on what makes you feel insecure and develop yourself in those areas. If you want your friends back, pay attention to your relationship with them and the fun you can have together. Your friends will not be happy around you if your attention is on her in a negative way.

How about going a step further and making friends with the new girl? Discover whether you find her truly nice or not. Perhaps it is not about competing with her, but all of you finding things in common and being friends. Might be more fun…

The post She “plays politics” with me appeared first on The Teenager Today.

Dear Shruti,

Your feelings of pain, anger and helplessness when your classmates ignore you in spite of your popularity in school are so strong that you end up harming yourself. Self-harm is not a suitable way of coping with your distress. Manage your feelings using relaxing techniques such as dancing, art, going for a walk, etc. And if you feel they are unmanageable, speak to a counsellor.

Just as we admire a film star for his/her beauty and acting but we don’t know them personally, your schoolmates admire you for your ‘beauty’ and ‘performance’ from afar and you seem to like this attention and popularity. Perhaps you expect the same kind of attention from your classmates instead of making friends with them and getting to know them personally? If yes, even though you think that you don’t have an attitude, your classmates will certainly think that you have one.

Focus on making friends with those classmates with whom you spend most of your time. Let them see the real you: Bring out your inner beauty with a smile and warmth, and let your performance be about building relationships based on love, trust, kindness and helpfulness. As E. Lockhart says: “If you have friends who actually like you, you are popular enough!”

The post My classmates do not behave well with me appeared first on The Teenager Today.

Dear Sree,

Spreading rumours means spreading false stories or lies about someone. And it can have very serious effects when you cross a limit, as you have seen with your friend. Unfortunately, you seem to be feeling more heart-broken that he hates you, rather than remorseful that you hurt him. Perhaps you thought it was not such a big deal, but for your friend it certainly was.

If you focus more on your friend’s feelings, you will realize that even though you said ‘sorry’, you have not really shown him that you truly feel bad about what you did. Giving him a letter asking him to ‘decide’ whether he wanted to be your friend is a ‘thinking’ thing that is pushing his ‘feelings’ of hurt aside. It would have been better to have just apologized and shown him that you care about him and that you are truly sorry for your actions.

At present, it is best to leave your friend alone and respect his decision about whether he wants to be your friend or not. Going forward, it would be nice if you were more sensitive to and considerate about others’ feelings. Maintain healthy boundaries and you will enjoy mutual respect and love.

The post He told me that he hates me appeared first on The Teenager Today.

Dear Rashmi, it seems you are very jealous of that girl because your “friends are always with her” and “because of her my friends left me alone”. Jealousy is a bad emotional feeling that can upset your judgement: “she is not a nice girl”, “she isn’t good”, “I hate her”. Rather than giving in to negative feelings, ask yourself the reason why everybody likes her. She may have some positive qualities that make her attractive. I suggest you spend some time with her and talk to her with an open mind; you may discover that she is not what you think and she can be a nice friend. Stop hating and start loving.

The post I hate her appeared first on The Teenager Today.

Dear Aman, that girl does not talk to you because you too are not able to talk to her and tell about your feelings. In your imagination you feel that “she also loves” you “but she cannot tell” you. If you do not have the courage to express your feelings it means you are not yet ready for such relationship. This is common at your age. She is presently your friend and you are afraid that if you tell her about your love she will not be your friend any longer. I suggest you enjoy the friendship with her as it is now and wait for some more time to mature your decisions for the future.

The post She does not talk with me appeared first on The Teenager Today.

Dear Sneha, I am happy to read that, “I have many friends… with whom I can chat for hours, have fun and do everything in the world”. This is what teenagers should do. Yet, you do not seem to be happy, because you miss someone with whom you can share your feelings, help in the way you want and doesn’t take your problems for granted. You “used to have such a friend but now she hangs out with another girl” and “other friends get bored when I share my views with them”. Besides, “whatever issue I like to talk about is not liked by my friends and vice-versa”. It is also sad to read that “I have no one in my family…. who can understand me”. The problem is that you do not trust them and expect too much from them, as you want to be understood and helped by everyone. Are you ready to do the same with others? Would you not get bored with a friend who constantly wants to pour out her “intimate feelings and whatever is buried deep inside” her heart. Friendship is a give and take relationship. At the age of 14 the answer to your problem is what you already know: “I feel that I shouldn’t think about my sadness and have fun with all my classmates”.

The post I need someone who will understand me appeared first on The Teenager Today.