Recently, I heard friends and dear ones of a youngster who ended her life in a jiffy say: “Can’t imagine that she has done this; she was everything to us, and was everywhere, was so smart …”

Suicide is the second leading cause of death among teenagers. Suicide in teens is a serious and growing problem. The National Crime Records Bureau reports a student suicide every hour in India. In most cases, youngsters between the ages of 14-30 years commit suicide. There are various issues that teens are grappling with: peer pressure, emotionally turbulent and stressful years of life, issues related to their very personality: self-esteem, lack of confidence, loneliness, feeling of not fitting in anywhere, depression, etc., can lead one to commit suicide. There are other risk factors such as childhood abuse, traumatic experiences, lack of reference points, non-friendly home, social or school environment, and familiarity with others who often speak about teen suicides.

These facts made me reflect deeply on the ever-increasing number of suicides. What preventive measures do we need to take to reduce the alarming rate of suicides? In the field of education and especially with regard to value education and personality development what more can we do? I put these questions to some of the scholars that I know. This is what they had to say:

Prof. Shazia Kardar, King Khalid University, Department of English writes: “Students usually don’t understand that suicide means self-defeat. Different issues trigger negative thoughts in their minds. In school classes to boost self-esteem, stressing the value of life and the reason for life, etc., should be introduced. Effective life skills also need to be taught. The students should also be encouraged to open up about any problems they are experiencing.”

Prof. Antony Kannanayakkal Joseph, Cultural Anthropology and Theology, says: “One of the possible reasons that leads a person to suicide would be running out of alternatives or options. Not that options are not available but the capacity or skills of identifying alternatives are not developed. A world which rejects a loser, conducts elimination rounds to select the fittest is another cause. Training to reject such mentality, withstand peer pressures which promote competition, ability to design one’s own standards, and methods of life’s goals are also critical.”

Prof. Henry Olders, Psychiatry & Computer Engineering, says: “An important contribution to increasing suicide rates is that more and more people are being prescribed anti-depressants which can trigger violence, including suicidal and homicidal behaviour. Here is a section of an essay I wrote on anger and violent behavior (https://henry.olders.ca/wordpress/?p=1404).”

Prof. Vasil Grigoriev noted: “Suicide is a consequence of depression. The cause of depression is a disorder of physiological processes in the body, and is caused by improper functioning of the human body which leads to stress and punishment by the brain’s punishment system.”

Prof. Preeti Oza affirms: “Students today are the victims of over expectations. Moreover, educationists have failed to accept our students in complete totality. We have burdened them with our own anxieties and this burden becomes too much for young minds. Parents, teachers, and society have a collective responsibility to accept our students as they are.”

World Suicide Prevention Day

To create greater awareness of suicide and risk factors associated with it, September 10, every year, is observed as World Suicide Prevention Day in partnership with the International Association for Suicide Prevention and the World Health Organization. Attending two seminars organized in Maharashtra to mark this day for two consecutive years helped me to understand the pain and sorrow of those who lost their dear ones due to suicide.

Suicide is intentionally taking one’s own life, and it comes from the Latin word suicidium, which literally means “to kill oneself”. Suicide is the tenth leading cause of death globally. There are myths and facts around suicides. One such myth is: “People who talk about suicide really won’t do it.” The fact is: Nearly everyone who attempts suicide has given some warning or sign!

Recognize the warning signs

Among the strong warning signals from teens who are pondering suicide are: drastic change in eating and sleeping habits, withdrawals, aggressive behaviour, escaping, drug and alcohol, indifference to personal appearance, drop in the quality of performance in school/college, tiredness, complaints about pains, no to praise or rewards. Be alert and act up on even indirect references to death or suicide. Expressions like: “Mom, you’ll be sorry when I am gone”, “There seems to be no way out,” etc., are packed with suicidal feelings.

Feelings of “I am good for nothing”, hopelessness, considering self as a burden; talking about death or suicide, sharing possessions, lack of interest in activities, high mood swings, etc., calls you to intervene. Speaking frankly and honestly about suicidal thoughts and feelings can help to save a life.

A loving dialogue

Various authors have shared their insights on how to talk to a teenager threatening suicide. Enter into a dialogue. Dialogue accompanied by prudence and discretion; listening with empathy, stepping in with apt questions: “Can you talk to me what is going on within you?” Gently ask: “Is there any specific event that pushed you to suicidal thoughts?” Do not enter into a lecture or a reactive mode. Keep off judgement and try not to disagree with their feelings.

You are initiating a new dialogue, your task is to search together for alternatives: no to suicide and yes to life. How and when? As quick as possible; suicide is never a solution. Play for them a tape of affirmation and love; suggest alternative options that will promote life. Ensure that you are there to stand by, that they can trust you.

Isolation and inability to form relationships were identified as important factors in suicidal attempts. Identifying the risk factors and recognizing the warning signs can help to prevent suicide. We need a comprehensive approach to suicide prevention: a blend of efforts that work together to address various aspects of the problem, endorsement of wellness, and mental health.

Experts are teaming up to reflect together how best to support teens in an increasingly digital world. Research efforts are already moving in this direction with focus on Teens, Tech and Mental Health. “Preventing suicide: A global imperative” is the first WHO report of its kind. A strong network among countries to develop/strengthen comprehensive suicide prevention strategies is the need of the hour. Together, teens, educators, and parents, we can do much to prevent suicide to save a life.

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“Friendship is always a sweet responsibility, never an opportunity.”
~ Kahlil Gibran

Hanging out with friends (dating) is typical of teenagers. Everyone is aware of the shakiness that is part of a teen’s life caused by strong hormonal urges. This instability in the life of a teenager, trying to make sense of all the changes taking place in his/her life, does not make it an ideal period to date, though the urges are very strong in teenagers!

There is a growing attraction in teens towards the opposite sex. We are attracted to a person because of the pleasure he or she gives or for other practical purposes. If you are capable of respecting the boundaries of friendship, it is good to be friends with those of the opposite sex.

Make dating fruitful and life-oriented

As teens grow older and more mature, and achieve their basic goals like completion of education, making a career, etc., dating can be fruitful. In dating, the success mantra is how capable you are to set limits for yourself. True love waits and is capable of self-giving.

The purpose of dating is:

• To get to know the other person better.
• To establish healthy relationships.
• To make wise choices.
• To nurture companionship.

The need to get to know the other, to get to know his/her family and gain knowledge and to check necessary compatibility is the basic aim of dating. Through dating, some are able to find a suitable partner for marriage.

Marriage: A lifelong relationship

Marriage is a lifelong and demanding relationship, with love balancing amid tensions of every kind. Compatibility and maturity are the two major factors that need to be considered when marriage is contemplated, and these are learned in and through genuine friendships. Dating can become a part of preparation for marriage.

What does dating communicate to two teens who are serious about it? It will definitely give them opportunities to verify whether they are well-matched, can really get along well and whether either of them is mature enough to marry. A boy and a girl will not be alike in all things. The differences will be seen as a source of attraction rather than division. In married life, the couple enhances each other bringing into the relationship what the other lacks. This is possible only when they both agree on basic life attitudes and have a certain level of maturity. Couples have to build up a stable platform; thus the lesser differences can be turned into acceptable compromises.

Young people, before deciding to get married, need to consider the question of maturity. Maturity is a word loaded with meaning. A teen needs to take note of his/her and their partner’s maturity. One cannot just sign his/her whole life with a marriage partner who hardly knows himself or herself. Dating can help teens, to a certain extent, to enlarge their horizons together.

It is equally important to terminate an unhealthy relationship before things go beyond repair. Painful as it may be and difficult as it may seem, pick up the courage to say “No”. And say it at the right time.

Inner beauty is of prime importance

In a world where values are crumbling down at every moment, it is wise to give more importance to the core character or the inner beauty of the person. What is good looks, fashion, wealth and fame when compared to compassion, genuine love, and true humanity?

For many teenagers, love at first sight appears to be a bed of roses filled with great adventures. Besides having one’s feet on the ground, those who are dating should also keep their gaze fixed on the realities of life. So the question is: what about your compatibility when the excitement of love gives way to the routines of daily life? The most important task is to identify the major problem-generating areas that make any relationship difficult, like personal, family, religion, nationality, lifestyle, maturity, etc. Taking these into consideration is vital before a person moves into a lasting relationship.

Learning to strike a balance

Dating can provide teens with joy, and help them grow in a healthy way, accepting each other and getting to know each other’s compatibility and maturity. However, dating is risky when it leads to a too-soon marriage. It is good to remember that once a serious relationship gets initiated, it takes little or no effort to get more and more involved. Learning to strike the balance is difficult but important.

The significance of accompaniment

Accompaniment is a wise and loving process in which an adult will lead and guide you. Having a counsellor or an adult who can accompany you and your friend in the dating process may prove very helpful. I have known many teens who blossomed into maturity through dating under the guidance of wise counsellors. Such teens know how to grow in intimacy keeping sex exclusively for and after marriage. One cannot just sign his/her whole life with a marriage partner who hardly knows himself or herself. Guided dating will help teenagers to enlarge their horizons together.

Balancing your love

Loving a girl/boy is right, but one has to be careful and take time to talk to oneself. Is she/he causing you too much distraction? Can you concentrate on your studies and other responsibilities? Can you still make time for your parents and siblings? Are you aware of the consequences of early dating? These are certain facts that you may overlook, carried away with your love and friendship.

In our orientation programmes, we often tell young people about the challenges of having a home to accompany the partner, the need for a stable career, the need to get along with each other in the world of their intimate living, and above all, how they need to stay connected in the circle of love extending the bonds of caring love and friendship to their families and those around.

This can help you find time and wisdom to nurture lasting friendships. Finally, before you start dating, ask yourself again: Am I ready for dating? Is this relationship what I really want? Am I personally, psychologically, socially, intellectually, religiously and emotionally ready to bind myself to a person when I know so little of him or her, of my world and my future?

Here are a few tips that will stand you in good stead:

• Become other-centred. Build up the type of social life that permits you to meet and know different persons.
• Respect persons for what they are. Never take advantage of them. People are basically good and we need to treat each other with goodness and love.
• Learn the art of living with differences and never try to suppress them.
• Take time; don’t burn off your career and ruin your life or someone else’s.

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BOSCOREE (a word coined from Bosco and Jambo) is a mammoth gathering of Scouts and Guides from Salesian Institutions across India, with Don Bosco and Baden Powell (Founder, Scout Movement) as their mentor-inspirer/icons.

From its inception in 1974 to 2015, twelve BOSCREEs have been organised at different locations in the country. The 13th BOSCOREE will be held in Nashik, Maharashtra, from 30th December 2018 to 3rd January 2019, with the theme Holiness, Harmony and Health. It will bring together on December 29 over 4500 (the largest-ever in the history of BOSCOREE) boy scouts and girl guides between the ages of 12 to 16, who will turn the ancient city of Nashik into a fortress of youth power and adventure.

Don Bosco
Friend and Teacher of Youth

Don Bosco (16 August 1815-31 January 1888) knew how to rob the hearts of the young. “Hi, young guy, do you know to whistle?” That was sufficient to knit a lifelong friendship between Don Bosco and Bartholomew Garalli. This was the beginning of a bond of lasting friendships with needy youngsters. As an adolescent, Johnny gathered around him several children and kept them mesmerized with his charming stories, amazing tricks and acrobatics all set to bring out the best in them.
Don Bosco was a multifaceted man — priest, friend of the young and poor, educator, founder, social activist, healer, author, saint. Fr Jack Finnegan, SDB, summarized it beautifully: “He was a man aflame with a glowing fire shining through myriad activities, talents and gifts; truly a man of God wrapped in an ecstasy of love-filled and hope-filled action with a worldwide reach.” In his friendship and affection to youth, Don Bosco remained always the zealous educator.
Motivated by a great love for youth, he said, “For you I study, for you I work, for you I live and for you I am ready even to give my life.” On 1 April 1934, Pope Pius XI declared Don Bosco a saint; “a giant of sanctity”.
Today the sons and daughters of St Don Bosco are spread all over the world. They are passionately engaged in accompanying the young to help them to blossom into fullness.
In the large crowd at BOSCOREE 2018, one will witness the living presence of Don Bosco in his sons and daughters and in the thousands of young students who come from all corners of the country who carry on his ideals and his untiring dedication to the young.

The celebration of BOSCOREE this year will coincide with the 40th year of the Salesian presence (Don Boco institutions) in Nashik. The event, this year, will be jointly hosted by Don Bosco Bhavan, Divydaan, Salesian Training Institute, the two Auxilium Sisters’ Communities, and the Ursuline Sisters of Kilbil School, all in Nashik.

The first-ever Don Bosco Scout Troop was started by the Salesian Priests in 1944, as part of Don Bosco Oratory and Youth Centre, Broadway, Chennai. Six years later, in 1950, the Irish missionary Fr Sean McFerran, who was popularly known as “the Sporting Padre”, opened another Scout Unit at Don Bosco School, Matunga, Mumbai.

Gradually, numerous Don Bosco Scout troops sprang up as part of Don Bosco Schools across the country. Soon enough the schools run by Auxilium Sisters, part of the Don Bosco Family, with their girl guides too joined the bandwagon, infusing more life, energy and spirit to the initiative.

Within a few years, the new initiative evolved into what came to be known as the Don Bosco Scouts and Guides Movement. In 1966, a gathering of the Don Bosco Scouts and Guides was organised at Kovalam on the shore of the Arabian Sea. The next gathering was held at Doddaballapur in 1974 by the students of Kristu Jyothi College, Bangalore, with just 600 students participating.

The next gathering of Don Bosco Scouts and Guides held in 1976 at Matunga, Mumbai, was really historic. It was here that the gathering was called BOSCOREE for the first time. The basic goal of the BOSCOREE is to offer young people the opportunity to be self-oriented, other-oriented, and divine-oriented through responsible fun, collaboration and adventure, to serve and to lead as Scouts under the banner of Don Bosco India Scouting Movement.

The logo

The left side of the logo in blue is the outline of the western region of India and more specifically the outline of the Mumbai province.

The dove with the olive branch symbolises peace and the wings signify the span of Salesian India across states and the entire Salesian family.

The triple words refer to the theme of the 13th National Boscoree, ‘Holiness-Harmony-Health’, signifying the great commandment of love of God, Others and Self.

The white background symbolises holiness.

The words, 13th BOSCOREE, signifies the gathering of the Don Bosco Salesian Scouts and Guides of India.

Nashik 2018-19 refers to the scheduled dates and venue.

The Bharat Scouts and Guides logo and the ‘A’ depicted as a tent in Nashik, represents the commitment of the Scouts to be ready to humanize the great commandment of love through a camping experience.

As mentioned earlier, BOSCOREE is a hybrid term between BOSCO and JAMBO (a word used by Lord Baden Powel) coined to mean that we are all here united under the BOSCO scouting banner: coming together, camping together, sharing together, interacting with each other, thus cementing friendships. Each BOCOREE has its special theme and logo.

Even though with each gathering the number of participants increased, increasing also the expenses involved in organising the event, the spirit of fellowship, adventure and service and the experience of unity in diversity continues to be the very hallmark of every BOSCOREE.

BOSCOREE is intrinsically linked with the worldwide scout movement founded by Lord Baden Powell in 1907. Scouting instils confidence and self-esteem in young people by teaching them life skills and leadership skills.

Each scout learns through various activities the art of team-building, how to make right choices and to take responsibility for their actions.

Scouting develops in the young self-knowledge, the need to explore and to discover the world beyond their classrooms. This is what Don Bosco Scouts and Guides Movement tries to reinforce at one BOSCOREE after another. The 13th BOSCOREE, which begins at Nashik on December 30 will be no exception to this.

13th National Boscoree Prayer

O God of the Universe, and Lord of all life,
We come before You to seek
Your grace and strength,
As we prepare ourselves for the 13th BOSCOREE,
In the true spirit of Lord Baden Powell,
And the charismatic predilection of our founders:
Don Bosco and Mother Mazzarello for the young.

Help us to ‘be prepared’
As we journey anew on our path
To live healthy lives;
Be ambassadors of harmony
Among all people, and with nature,
And be friends of the Divine in
Our quest for holiness of life.

Pour out Your blessings and spirit
On the organizers and participants of the 13th BOSCOREE.

We ask this of the Creator and Lover of all beings,
In Whom we truly believe in!

Lord Robert Baden-Powell
Founder of the Boy Scout Movement

Born in London on 22 February 1857, Robert Stephenson Smyth Baden-Powell or ‘B-P’ received his early education from his mother, and later won a scholarship to the prestigious Charterhouse School. BP preferred the outdoors to the classroom and spent much of his time sketching wildlife and learning basic scouting skills while hiding in the woods around the school.

After completing his education, B-P took the army entrance exam and was commissioned into the 13th Hussars. In 1876, as a young army officer in India, he specialised in scouting, map-making and reconnaissance. But it was in Africa during the Second Boer War that his reputation was made. As a Lieutenant-General, he led a British garrison defending the town of Mafeking against 5,000 Boer soldiers, holding them off for 217 days until reinforcements arrived. The siege allowed him to test his scouting skills, and the courage and ingenuity shown by his young soldiers made a lasting impression on him.

Returning home a national hero in 1903, B-P discovered that the handbook he had written for soldiers, Aids to Scouting, was being used by youth leaders and teachers all over the country. He reworked the book for youth, and in 1907 organised a camp on Brownsea Island, bringing together 22 boys from diverse social backgrounds. It was the start of the Scout Movement; an event commemorated with a foundation stone on the island. Scouting for Boys (1908) has since been translated into all the world’s major languages and has sold around 150 million copies.

In 1909, the first National Scout Rally held at Crystal Palace was attended by 11,000 boys. This led to the formation in 1910 of a parallel organisation, the Girl Guides, run by his sister Agnes.

In 1910, B-P retired from the army, travelling the world to inspire young people to join scouting. In 1920, 8000 Scouts from 34 countries gathered for the first World Scout Jamboree at which B-P was acclaimed the Chief Scout of the World, a title he held until his death on 8 January 1941 in Nyeri, Kenya where he had lived for some years.

In his farewell message to Scouts published only after his death, B-P wrote: “Try and leave this world a little better than you found it.”

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Mahatma Gandhi, the Father of our Nation, belongs to the world. He set a true example of great leadership, and set India free from the British rule. As we remember him on 2 October, his birthday, THE TEENAGER TODAY brings you Gandhian thoughts that can inspire and motivate, and have the power to transform the world.

My life is my message

Gandhiji courageously affirmed: “My life is my message”. Truth and love were the essence of his life. His life was an expression of his core belief. During the freedom struggle, he preached and practised Ahimsa or non-violence. His passion for truth and his willingness to give his life for it, always choosing the way of peace, when practised, can enhance the inner beauty of our lives.

Be willing to remake yourselves

Gandhiji always walked the path of truth and had the courage to live by his convictions. He knew that he was doing the right thing in the right place for the good of the people. He was determined and dedicated to the task of remaking himself. His concepts of Satyagraha and Ahimsa sparked interest and enthusiasm in many people. He was a tireless seeker of the truth and was well aware that truth alone will set one free. This acquires greater significance when we read it in the light of his own life. As he was consciously engaged in the task of remaking himself, he was offering his valid contribution to re-design the world.

Winning battles with the strength of non-violence

Many have won great battles for social and political transformation using the principles of Mahatma Gandhi. Martin Luther King, champion of the American civil rights movement; Nelson Mandela who brought an end to apartheid in South Africa, the Dalai Lama who advocates a peaceful resolution in Tibet; Aung San Suu Kyi who struggled to bring democracy in Myanmar (Burma); and Cesar Chavez who fought to reduce exploitation of farm workers in California, have all acknowledged Gandhi’s role in their lives and work.

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DR TERESA JOSEPH, FMA, an educationist and youth counsellor, goes back to the origins of Friendship Day, and suggests ways and means to make this year’s event really significant.

Sunday, 5 August 2018, is Friendship Day, this year. How did Friendship Day originate? A walk down memory lane reveals that to celebrate the significance of friends in each one’s life, a day was set apart for friendship in the U.S. The U.S. Congress in 1935 made a Proclamation to this effect and the first Sunday of August was declared as a holiday in the U.S. in honour of friends. On 27 April 2011, the United Nations General Assembly, announced 30 July as International Friendship Day. Now India and several other countries celebrate Friendship Day on the first Sunday of August.

On Friendship Day people meet friends and exchange cards and flowers to express their love and appreciation. A number of social and cultural organizations celebrate Friendship Day by hosting programmes and get-togethers. In the spirit of the occasion, it is likely to find people spending Friendship Day in the company of their best friends. Jubilations and celebrations for Friendship Day come in days before the actual day as everyone is busy making friends feel how much they mean to them.

Distance is never a barrier to connect with friends and to convey love and thoughtfulness. Today’s teen friendships are not as different as we think, affirms Joanna Yau in her article From Yearbooks to Instagram and Snapchat. “We learned that there are many actual similarities between how teens interact online and offline.” Her research team talked with over 50 teens about how they communicate on social media sites such as Facebook, Instagram, and Snapchat (https://bold.expert/todays-teen-friendships-are-not-as-different-as-we-think/.

Just a click of the mouse or a quick call puts one swiftly in touch with a best friend. SMS, Friendship Day e-cards, friendly chat, Instagram and Snapchat, oh the magic of friendship offers one wings to fly high! From Friendship Day cards to friendship bands, it is amazing to see teens compete with one another to spot who gets the most chic or the highest number of bands. Friendship Day parties and bashes too are very much a part of the celebration. Certainly all these are great means to widen the circle of friendship. But what more can we bring to Friendship Day, this year?

Going beyond gifts and parties

Caught up in the craze of high commercialization and gift marketers who entice youngsters to buy gifts for their friends, is there a way to move beyond gifts and parties? Do we know how to fly away from the charming temptation of those who offer special discounts for holding Friendship Day bashes? Can you settle for bringing friends home to give them a taste of your mom’s best dishes? Think of organizing something together where your friends and their parents can all meet together and spend a great time together.

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