Social media is an amazing platform for you to share your most memorable moments and biggest successes with your friends, family and the world. But have you ever stumbled upon a post or story online that made you feel a certain kind of way? A pang of jealousy, perhaps?

Maybe it was a friend sharing a major accomplishment, and while part of you was happy for them, another part felt a pang of envy that you haven’t had the same success or maybe it made you question yourself and feel inadequate? This mix of feelings is more common than you might think, and it’s a scenario that many teens, like Aarav, experience in the digital age.

In one such instance, Aarav found himself wrestling with unexpected envy when he saw a post from a classmate who had won a prestigious environmental science competition. Despite being an advocate for environmental activism himself, Aarav felt overshadowed by his classmate’s achievement. This complex cocktail of admiration and jealousy took Aarav by surprise, prompting him to reflect on his own values and how he chooses to interact online.

Initially tempted to leave a snide comment or make a passive-aggressive post, Aarav was able to realize that these impulses stemmed from his envy rather than the supportive spirit he aspired to embody. This moment of self-awareness was crucial; it led him to genuinely congratulate his classmate, thereby transforming a moment of personal turmoil into one of collective celebration for their shared cause.

Tips for managing envy and for being supportive of your peers online

1. Always Acknowledge Your Feelings: It’s perfectly natural to feel envious at times. By recognizing and understanding these emotions, you have taken the first step towards managing them. Sometimes just simply acknowledging them helps makes it feel less overwhelming.

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• I became captain of the school football team!
• I got the first rank in the whole of class 8!
• I got this most awesome birthday gift!
• I’m now the head girl at my school!
• Mum got me this brand new sweatshirt!
• I’ve finally lost the 4 kilos I needed to!

How often have you heard this from a friend, sibling, a kid in the neighbourhood or a cousin? And how many times have you truly felt happiness for someone else who seems to have gotten lucky or got what they wanted? Or rather when someone got something that you wanted? You revealed a smile on your face yes; but was there a small, tiny, minuscule shadow of a monster within you that felt a tiny but nagging pang of envy?

How did she get to that level?

• Why didn’t I get selected on the team?
• I wish she breaks out into pimples!
• How did he become head boy?
• She’s always showing off!
• They didn’t give me anything on my birthday!
• My painting was so much better than hers!

Degrees… of comparison

Long ago in primary school we all learned degrees of comparison: positive, comparative and superlative. If only we could stick to positive and be positive about ourselves as well as others around us. Superlative is a bit hard to achieve. So the easiest way out is to compare. And suddenly everyone seems slimmer, smarter, richer, luckier, fairer, healthier and happier than you. There are going to be moments when someone else will get something amazing; the very thing that you probably pined, toiled and prayed for since forever, and still haven’t gotten close to even sniffing it. And that might make you feel that they shouldn’t have it and you should, because they don’t deserve it and you do. That’s the root of the emotion called jealousy. It’s something a lot of us feel a lot of the time, without even realizing it.

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